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Got this as an email a while back - found it quite amusing.

Do a search for 'Hot, single women' if you're an oke or
'Sober men' if you're a girl

at the following website....

http://www.goldenpages.ie/displayhome.ds;jsessionid=A5127E67D0BEA80D47AFA070F1FD47C3

Cath Christmas party 2008

Parfrey Murphy party it up

I got some peace and quiet for a change when Cath went off with her work buddies for a Christmas party in... where was it agin? Kerry I think.
Linda, Pat.

Getting ready in the room beforehand were Lorraine, Orla, Linda, Kate.

And then the party!

The men get into the festive mood.
Paul, Dave, John.
Kevin and Paul

What a bloody good looking group of accountants.
Lorraine, Sinead, Orla, Una, Kate, Linda and Cath.

Some amuse themselves...
(Dave and Paul.. Fiona can't bear to look.)

... and some are spellbound by the magician doing the rounds at the party venue.



Una and Dave, Linda and Kate.



I can't remember your name, but your FEZ is familiar.


He was powerless to resist once the music took control...



John and Brendan.


Kate, Lorraine and Cath. Sinead and Una - the yummy tax department.

And then the booze finally caught up with them...

Paul, John and John.

Linda and Claire - "I know I don't tell you very often... but I love you Claire!"
"You make me feel soooo good."

And on that note, till next year.

Our new lil monster

Woooooohoooo. We're having a little... baby.

Well I suggest you click on this image to get a slightly more 'meaningful' view of my baby.
As far as 13 week scans go, we've been told this is a good one as they can sometimes make it appear that your baby is actually in two pieces. Anyhoo. It is clear already that this little one;s head is going to be big - full of brains as cath says!

Happy days. All good so far with the development.

We're famous!

I'm finally famous. Well, more famous.



Cath fights the dark side...

cat missing kittens and other pics

Okay, so this post isn't anything particularly exciting, just a bunch of little bits and bobs that we've done / have happened in the day to day meandering of our lives. They're the type of thing that are really arb, but also that'll really impress me if you were to write / say to me "Bummer about your shower door there Al" - (A) - I'd know you were actually interested in what's going on in our lives (chances) or (B) - I'd know you were actually reading the blog.


Ceili Mor

So this is a ceili - a moerse big dance which is kinda like a barn dance without the barn. Really good fun and they tend to organise them for the public whenever there's a festival of some sort on. Cath and I went along and took a couple of movies and a few pics but as movies don't upload so well to blogger, I've decided to just put up the pics - as crap as they are.

Linda pays Cath another visit and brings lil Loughlin along. Cath's getting broody...

And then, as mentioned above, our shower door spontaniously combusted the other day, out of the blue, with neither of us in the house at the time. Now I know combusted is not the right expression, as it didn't actually burst into flames, but I needed to get across the extent of the damage. We have one of those glass swivel doors on our bath which has a shower at one end and it was this door that we found in millions of small pieces when we got home.

It really looked like an act of vandalism as the whole hinge thing looked like it had been pushed closed. But as our laptop and digi camera was sitting in the next room, it was unlikely that someone broke in just to break our shower door and then leave. Oh well. I had lil pieces of glass in my fingertips for about a week after but all good now.

The next thing that went wrong was that our storage heating system died soon after the shower door. At just about the time that it started getting really cold. We were without heat in our lounge for about 2 months. We had four visits from electricians and finally, it was fixed just before Christmas.

Last picture is of one of the stray cats that lives in our complex. Recently, white and black cat here, which one of the residents has named Xerox, well his partner had kittens, which were slowly but surely taken away from her by residents until eventually they had just one kitten left.

Then, the owners of this ground floor flat took the last one, clearly breaking mom and dad's hearts. They walked around looking for their kittens for ages, miaowing left, right and centre.
So if you click on this photo you can see that there's actually a kitten inside the glass here, and 'dad' is looking in longingly. He does this pretty much every morning, normally while lying on the bonnets of the newly parked cars (probably to get the heat from the engine). Ah bless.

Al's 2008 Christmas party

Irish Examiner Christmas party and old fogie reunion...

John was keen to play Lord of the Dance on his flute as a bit of light music for the rest of us.

The lucky table. Lucky cos I was there that is.
Note the jenga game. I don't know who's idea it was to leave that at our venue but it certainly was a unique idea... combining alcohol with a game of concentration that needs a steady hand. Hmmm.

Suzie-wong, Fran, Darren and Karen.

Gav, Darren and I. Gav was determined to be in every photograph. Ah well, he was a happy lad.

Adrian and John. Frankly, they look a little too cozy.



Boyzone?

Jay teaches Claf the Hokey-pokey. Claf is just not getting it. "So after you put your left foot in... what do you do then again?" he asks. Stubborn John is refusing to learn outdated dances.

Interesting...

Cath has finished her studying - in Ireland anyway - so it was time to get rid of her notes. There were quite a few... I think we need to hire a moving company to take them to a recycling depot.

Haha, Cath has piles - of books and files that is. No wonder her exams are so bloody easy... I mean they're open book exams - all you need to do is have these piles with you in the exams and you've got all your answers there with you. What was she moaning about. Lazy wretch.

xxxxxxxxxx

I found this article in the London Telegraph - one of my favourite newspapers. This was in the business section - which I never read - but since it had this nice picture on the front page, I gave that a squizz... and lo and behold, note South Africa's figures against the other countries...
Click on it for a bigger sqizz.

So SA has the best 2nd quarter of any country in the G20 and we still get screwed against the dollar. Sigh. Such little justice.

I went and did a dig a few weeks later and found out that SA's GDP for the third quarter was plus 0.2 percent - still in the positive. Which means that, officially, South Africa is at worst, still
6 months away from being in a recession.

Ireland by the by, looks like having negative growth of minus 5% for the year (or so they're saying). Which probably hurts my euros against the rand damn it. Come on Ireland, get your act together!

How're you?

'How're you?' you ask. Well.....

Cold would be one answer. Cold and generally annoyed.

We lost our shower door about a month ago and having phoned our landlord / letting agency (Rose Properties), it was only now replaced, which was a bit annoying having water spray all over the bathroom. Our shower is one of those annoying showers in the bath type jobs and it had a rotating glass door that spontaniously shattered while we were both out of the house. Interesing... apparently heat can do that to this type of glass but we're in Cork for crying in a bucket. We haven't had a summer in 2 years!

Anyway, thank God we weren't in the shower when it happened or we could have been seriously cut up.

However, 'it doesn't rain, it pours' goes the saying and not soon after that, we lost our storage heating in our place - we still have heaters in our bedrooms but the lounge - where we spend virtually all our time - doesn't have that. It only has an 'expensive to keep on' heater (storage heating is cheaper SA friends). Once again, we are left marvelling at the speed at which the electrician has got back to us. That was sarcasm in case you're wondering. Cath and I had to phone the plumber about five times to get him to come (this in a recession when you would think people would WANT work). We await the electrician - he's been around twice but it's been a while since his last visit.

Anyway, it was a surprise to hear Cath say 'Warm' when I asked 'how're you?' when she got home the other day for lunch. I was in the next room and we were yelling to each other and her 'warm' answer surprised me cos as I've said, our place is freezing.
Then she came through to my room and I saw why she was warm...

Aaaah cute. Dorky, but cute.

No wonder she was warm. She got this from a friend at work and it really is quite toasty. Think I'll wear it skiing later this month!

Daddy and Mommy Valkenburg to be.

So...
CATH IS PREGNANT!

Woohoo, I'm gonna be a Daddy - although it's early days and you generally shouldn't really announce these things until 12 weeks, we're at 11 weeks today and VERY excited.

Needless to say, we are very chuffed and while it is reassuring to know that the
plumbing works, this is all quite a shock to the system. Still, Cath and I are big believers in things happening for a reason and are thrilled at the thought of going home to start a family and settle in Cape Town -(cos we would rather raise our kids in SA).

Cath has been so funny in the last couple of weeks. Not only does she have 3 million burps every hour, she is sometimes feeling so sorry for herself. Now don't get me wrong - I give her plenty of sympathy and love - but the one day I came home and she had been sick - she was lying in bed and she tilted her head to the side, pouted her lips and said "I'm sick" which just made me pack-up laughing - not the best reaction with a normal girl but Cath saw the funny side and laughed too.

As re the morning sickness, she's kinda off food at the moment which makes it tough to cook for her. Her favourite meal is soldiers of toast and pronutro (which I've run out of) I need to get to the SA shop in Dublin! Still toast and pronutro isn't really my idea of a great meal so it isn't easy to eat together as the smell of some things is enough to send her to the window for fresh air - and letting in the minus two degree wind!

Funnily enough, the thing that has Cath running away the fastest is....
WASHING-UP LIQUID.
Funny that (conspiracy theorists unite!) - what with how she hates doing the dishes and all!

I swear to God this whole cravings / put off by things is a woman's way of getting revenge at their men!
Next thing you know she's gonna have a bad reaction to the toilet cleaner, the shoe polisher, the broom and break out in spots if she gets anywhere near the oven. Huh!

Oh well, nothing can take the smile off my face at the moment!

What else can I tell you - there have been one or two changes in cath that I've noticed. For one, she's a lot more affectionate with me. Why, the other night I slid into bed after watching a late-night movie and touched my freezing leg against hers. And she didn't growl at me! So I touched my freezing hand on her bum - and (despite the fact that she broke out in goosebumps) she didn't growl at me! So I touched my freezing foot against her foot - and she kicked my foot away so fast you would have sworn she was a horse! Oh well, I had that one coming.

Photos of belly to follow but at the moment mine is bigger than Cath's so I'm the one who looks the most pregnant.

Start readying yourselves world for baby Chlorine or baby Adolf!

xxxxxxx

I put this on my blog a while ago but seeing as I'm now a dad to be, I thought I'd include it again...

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1 Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.

2. Leave it there.

3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children:-

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the

counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself.

2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to

their head office.

3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their

methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance

levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest

ways in which

they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training,

table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last

time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3 Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag

weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some

other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.

4. Set the alarm for 3am.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.

6. Go to bed at 2.45am.

7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.

9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.

10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.

2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.

4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.

5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 Going For a Walk

Wait.

Go out the front door.

Come back in again.

Go out.

Come back in again.

Go out again.

Walk down the front path.

Walk back up it.

Walk down it again.

Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.

Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece

of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.

Retrace your steps.

Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours

come out and stare at you.

Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you

can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If

you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.

2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.

3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9 Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into

the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.

5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.

6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney,

Teletubbies and Disney.

2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean

walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?

4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the

floor & leave it there.

Test 12 Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important

Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include

occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.

2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.

2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve

while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is

a child in the room.

Test 14 Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.

2. Put on your finest work attire.

3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it.

4. Stir.

5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt.

6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture.

7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel.

8. Do not change (you have no time).

9. Go directly to work.

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

My last 2 serious injuries

Well it's official, my neck is completely buggered.

And as I pondered how it became so, I realised that my last two 'serious' injuries have been caused by...

A) skimming stones on the beach
B) watching TV

I fear I am becoming less South African and more... wussy.

The skimming stones thing came first - a few years ago and I could be healed now for all I know because I've done so little sport / physical activity that I haven't actually tested my shoulder to see if it still pulls when I throw, play tennis, etc.

But how embarrassing is that - it was caused by skimming stones!?! - Just goes to show - I am now in that stage of my life where I need to warm up before I do such activities.

Meanwhile this most recent neck injury came while I stayed up to watch the US presidential election results. I was kinda lying on my side, propping my head up with my hand/ shoulder for two hours and the next morning I wasan't able to stand up straight.

It was so bad that I took a day off work and actually went to see a chiropractor while I was in Wales. He was the boyfriend of Cath's friend so he gave me a freebie. But I think maybe he didn't like me. Similarly, I always used to think Grant, my friend / physio back home used to like me but he made it quite clear that he doesn't when I sprained my ankle and had to go to him for treatment. No, Grant doesn't like me. Why would he do those horrible things to me otherwise? Well Steve certainly didn't like me either.

He cricked my neck something awful. First he did my back, which was great, but then he put his hands on my head and said something but I couldn't hear. Next moment my neck was shanked, right, to the direction of the pain - which hurt like crap. But it caught me so off-guard that I burst out into uncontrollable laughter and giggles and couldn't stop even though he wanted to crick me the other way too (which was away from the pain and didn't hurt).

One and a half months later, my neck still hurts when I bend it too much (Cue Cath's dad - "Then don't bend it too much!").

Sigh, getting old.

Cath's final exams

For the record, as of today, Friday 14, 2008, I am now married to a QUALIFIED accountant.
No, not a TRAINEE accountant, a QUALIFIED accountant.

Woohoo. You go girl, you bright thing you.
First time, nogal!
What a biscuit.

SAffas in Cardiff

Cardiff baby!

So having watched the Boks klap the French 52-10 in Paris about 10 years ago now, and Cath having watched the Boks beat the Irish in Dublin about eight years ago, we figured it was time to get together and watch the Boks beat the Welsh in Cardiff. Of course, the Welsh are 6-Nations champions, so we weren't taking them lightly, but hey, we'd never been to Wales so why not...

We even got an extra ticket for Emma as her surprise birthday prezzie - but then she decided she wanted to go home and be with her boyfriend, Delano so we needed a back-up plan. Step up Kate Petersen - Cath's old high school friend, now living in Wales, and who was keen to see the game. Bless her, she even organised us a place to stay. What a bonus!

What can I say about Wales - well, you've just gotta love the Welsh language, which was everywhere. In some languages, place names stay pretty much the same - not Welsh baby - as the board above indicates. Note the Welsh name for Swansea (Abertawe). Ay caramba.



So we stayed with Kate's folks and just outside their house, nestled in the middle of suburbia, was this cool field, complete with tons of sheep. Was really beautiful, well, apart from all the sheep crap.

On match day we headed to Cardiff where we first went and did a tour of the castle. This was the fort bit outside which we climbed up frankly, being match day and all, felt obliged to give our flag a flutter.

In the castle there were dragons everywhere, it being the Welsh symbol and all, and Cath and I tried to intimidate these ones. I know what you're thinking but don't worry, it was a girl dragon that I was flicking tongues with.

This guy was guarding the castle - it was only right we posed with him.

This was on the tour of the castle - just to show you how my beautiful wife walked around (YOU SEE, it isn't just me!!!). Photos were not allowed but I got this one before he told us that so ssssh. Don't tell.

Now Cath tells me that you won't want to look at tons of my (our) rugby photos but screw you... I went to great effort to take these - and it's a hobby of mine - you'll look and you'll like it!

Before

I thought this might be a sacrificial goat, that the Boks would get to braai or something if we won, but alas, it was just a mascot for the band geezers.



Anthems and getting ready for kickoff. Note Schalk in the photo above, second player from the left - he's a legend!

Scrum time.

Us on their tryline and them on ours. Difference - we crossed theirs - twice.

Lineouts. You've just gotta love Victor and Bakkies.

Random guy enjoys the moment near the end. I thought this kinda said what I was feeling, namely, kinda like shouting "Yessssssssssssssss!"

The Welsh penalties. I swear that bloody Irish ref had only one arm in the second half - and it was the one closest to the Welsh. Feckin eejit. Thank God our defence didn't let in any tries.

Anyhoo, final score: 20-15 to the Boks.

Our beautiful flag. There were quite a few around in the 74,100-odd crowd.

Cath and my Schalk wigs. Did i mention he's a legend?

John Smit gets a random trophy for winning.



Kate and the two nutters.


So after the game we went out for supper with Kate and her man and then drove home - but not before a quick stopoff at the theatre at Cardiff Bay for a quick photie.

Kate was a real honey the whole trip, and on sunday, before dropping us off at the train station, she gave us a drive around - and down to the Mumbles in swansea - where we had a mean hot chocolate and ice cream - despite it being about 3 degrees outside.

We also went to a beach and grabbed a few momentos, Cath tried to steal a whole beach's worth of rocks in the hood of her jacket. Okay that was me, secretly loading her up one at a time before she nearly fell backwards from the weight. "Are you guys up to something?"

"No, no," snigger snigger.

And then last stop - a castle on the way home... where Cath and I frightened the sheep. Stoopid sheep.






Kate earned maximum respek with a dress, despite the above-mentioned three degrees.



And then back home. Cool weekend, thanks to Kate.

That's all our leave until Christmas now... when we visit Martin in London again and then go skiing with Louise in Italy over new year! Bring it on.