Alan comes out

The women's mini-marathon - well it's a 10k walk or run - whichever you want - is held in Dublin every year and attracts about 40,000 women. Cath and Gabrielle had agreed to do it together but Gabs had to pull out so Cath asked Nur to do it with her.

Her joke of 'I'll do it, but only if Alan does it in a miniskirt' finally gave me the chance to achieve my long-time wish of appearing in Catherine attire in public. However, must to Cath and my disappointment, the mini-skirt was too (how shall we put this subtly)... in your face.

So after trying on a variety of outfits, we settled on Cath's christmas dress from a few years ago. Damn I was stunning - even if I do say so myself.

Cath added make-up to complete the outfit - I think she was actually quite proud of how well it was applied.



We left the house and walked 20 minutes to the start of the race... I got a few looks and comments in the city centre - some 12-year-old boys asked me why I was dressed like that and I just replied that it was extremely liberating!

Then we caught up with Nur at the Luas (tram) station, posed for a few photies and made our way to the start. There were a lot of old ladies chuckling away at me but I was pleased to see a few other blokes dressed up. Many had wigs. Damn - why didn't I think of that!

There were also quite a few women who squeezed my boobs (a sock in each cup) and a few who lifted my dress up from behind. Is this how ladies act to each-other? I was, quite-frankly, shocked. I always wondered why women go to the bathrooms together - do they secretly sqeeze each-other's boobs?




My make-up.

And so the walk began.

As I said, there were about 40,000 of us. Was a bit crazy at times.

But it all happened quite fast and suddenly we were at 8ks. Woohoo - go us.

Everyone does these things here for charities. They get sponsored and stuff and raise cash for their various special cause. I saw this woman walking for 'Get up for Alan' - I didn't ask why she was walking for me - for some reason I was feeling a bit shy - but I was flattered. I didn't see any of the money she raised for me though!

There was also a leprechaun along the way. Fancy that! I think he was offering people lifts for a price - but Nur and I were way too fit to need a lift.



... although Cath could maybe have done with one.

But soon we were at the finish and celebrating our Herculaen effort!

The girls showing off their medals.

And then we walked home to change and head back to Cork on the last bus. But time for one more quick photo at Gabs and Stew's place. Grr.

Cath's weekend to the Mansion house

Cath's Mansion House trip

Allow me to stress that I WAS NOT AT THIS SHINDIG - I had to work! But Cath headed up to Dublin for the (American) Notre Dame anniversary dinner - Courtney helped organise it for her college here - and had a ball. It was a semi-formal do - and Cath, as ever, looked the part.

Before they'd even got inside, these geezers were hanging around adding to the ambiance...

But the inside was even more stunning.

Cath was at a table of our Dublin church buddies who spent the evening acting the maggot...

Oh, and Mrs Wahlermeister, out from the States for the occasion.

Ah. dessert. NOT ME. I didn't get any - I had to work. Apparently they also had some stunning roast lamb. MMM - lamb - my favourite.



And then Cath and Courts gave the camera their best sexy looks. Courtney looks MAD! I wouldn't mess with her.

Cath however was wearing a new dress (borrowed) and had her new bag - so she was uber chuffed.



There was also some Irish choir-tye thingy majiggy and so serious faces everyone...

All in all, a cool time... for her. NOT ME. I had to work.

Did I mention that.

Ready to have children? (email forward)

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1
Women: To prepare for pregnancy, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months.
After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children, go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself.
Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of
discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they
have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems:
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
3. Time allowed for this: 5 minutes.

Test 5
Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door wagon.
And don't think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment and leave it there.
2. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
3. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6
Getting ready to go out:
1. Wait
2. Go out the front door
3. Come back in again
4. Go out
5. Come back in again
6. Go out again
7. Walk down the front path
8. Walk back up it
9. Walk down it again
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
15. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8
Go to the local supermarket.
Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child.
A full-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
7. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old child.

Test 10
Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls.
4. Cover the stains with crayon.
5. How does that look?

Test 12
Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly.
Important: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy - occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet if required.
Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13
Start talking to an adult of your choice.
Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14
Put on your finest work attire.
Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now:
1. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
2. Stir
3. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
4. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
5. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
6. Do not change, you have no time.
7. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children, ENJOY!!

Tunisia 4 - part 4/4 - the last part of the trip

And so we continued. Tunisia is one of the biggest producers of olive oil in the world (random fact - you see - you read my blog, you get wiser) and as we drove around, olive trees were everywhere.

We also went on a horse and cart trip through a desert oasis - there's my Cath!

In the oasis....

Once in the oasis we were given a chat by a local and watched as a 70 year old climbed a palm tree to show us how they get pine tree wine - the whiskey of the oasis.



There were also banana trees and we found a monkey...

Later on our trip we came across a map of Tunisia and found where we were.

Then to Kairouan - the fourth holiest city in the Muslim world (behind Mecca, Medina and ....???) This was the miosque behind us -

And then lastly, a few snaps we took while driving around...

As they said in 'Blood Diamond' - TIA - This is Africa!

More life in Tunisia...

And so that's about that. I was a bit shorter than normal - basically cos I'm doing this from work as my internet is still on the blink.