I dropped the baby!

It had to happen sometime.

I dropped the baby.
Yes, it's true, I dropped the baby.

Whether she landed on her head or not I actually dont know as I was seeing a few stars of my own at the time. How did this come about? Let me tell you....

You know those balls - the big gym ones - well they're a godsend.

Emma loves it when you sit on one and bounce slightly. It puts her to sleep like nothing else.

Well our ball got a slow puncture a while back and after missing out on our easy method of putting the baby to sleep, I was desperate. I went to the petrol station, pumped it up and found the puncture. Then I fixed it using my bicycle repair kit. For three days it was fine. Then, yesterday, I was sitting on the ball at about 4 in the afternoon. I had got the baby to stop crying, her eyes had been closed for a few minutes and I was thinking of standing up and putting her in the cot, itself a battle to keep her asleep.

But before I stood up, the bubble burst. Not the bubble so much as the ball actually.

And in retrospect, I actually had a warning. In one of those strange ways in which you realise afterwards that something was wrong, I realised I had heard the sound of escaping air just a few seconds before.

Of course, at the time, it was such a soft sound that I didn't even take notice until I was arse-up and the baby was on the floor.

The ball is probably about 60cm high so from that height, I fell straight down and backwards, giving myself an arse-jolt of note and cracking my head on the chest-of-drawers behind.

Of course, I'm sure you're all worried about my health more than the baby but I'd better tell you about her too.

Milli-seconds after hitting my head, my bulging, muscular torso was propelled forward, and my huge cyclist's knees were propelled up in a sit-up crunch-like motion, kinda forcing the baby out of the gap like heat seeking missile aimed at the sun.

Emma Heany said it must have felt like an airbag for her, what with her being forced against my tummy but I think that is neither funny nor very nice.

Anyway, as i was sitting at the time she was dropped and the floor was carpetted, she didn't fall far, but she barrel-rolled three times before coming to a stop.

I'd like to say it happened in slow-motion but in truth, it was over almost before it began.

Having stopped on the floor, and not-surprisingly woken up.

She took a few seconds, no-doubt sucking up her breath, before releasing her usual scream.

She calmed down within a few weeks and seems totally fine now though. My bum is still sore.

Whew. Not a lekker experience seeing your child fly.