Subbing - it's what I do.

SUBBING

Well I'm very aware of boring you, but people are always asking me 'what's your job like?' and 'What exactly do you do?' I thought, this month, instead of doing my summary type thing at the end of the month, I'd put a post up giving you a few examples of what it is I actually do.

Now I'm not sure if there are any legal complications with this - plagiarism or anything - so before I start, these come from the Irish Examiner. Credit given.

Basically, a sub gets rid of the mistakes. Or tries to as the case may be. Those who know me may find it amusing to know that I, Alan Valkenburg, am correcting other people's mistakes but I find it odd that some of the most impatient people I know are teachers - a job that requires a hell of a lot of patience. Sometimes it's just funny the way things work out.

But there's more to subbing than just correcting spelling and grammar. There's a bit of an art to making a story make sense, attract the reader's attention and flow. Most of that is done by the journalist - but sometimes the writer just doesn't have a clue.

The other things we do are pretty practical - making the stories fit onto the page - cutting them or making them a little longer - and writing headlines for them.

Occasionally I am asked to design pages too. That isn't really subbing, but it's related. It's quite cool cos in a way, you get to use the more creative side of the brain.

Anyway - I've kept a few examples of things that I came across in the paper and tried to do something about.

Attached as photos, I've put some headlines, etc that did make it into our paper. Not my stuff-ups, I promise. See if you can spot the mistakes.

Little examples:

1
In the middle of a legal story:

Yesterday at the High Court Mr Justice Iarfhlaith O'Neill heard that the hearing could last up to eight weeks.
There's actually nothing wrong with that one - but how the hell am I supposed to know whether that first name has been spelled correctly or not? Also 'heard that the hearing' doesn't sound too good.

2
Surfing column - and this happens every week:
Daytime temps ranging from 13ºC tomorrow to 12ºC on Sunday but cooler in the light wind and out of the sun.

My reaction here was REALLY! So you're saying it's going to be cooler when the wind blows and when we're out of the sun? Really?!! CUT! Another nominee for the stating the Bleeding obvious award 2007! Readers don't like having their time wasted. Well I don't anyway.

3
Story intro:
in Limerick have renewed their appeal for information about the murder of a 25-year-old man on the second anniversary of his death.

Police are called gardai in Ireland, so that's fine. But I suppose I was just being annoyingly pedantic here - but I didn't like that intro.
It kinda sounds like he was murdered on the anniversary of his death. I rewrote it, I can't remember how though.

4.
Sailing column. When sentences are too long:
Him:
The race is due to start on the next leg from Crosshaven to Brest on Monday morning at
11 am and of course this is the sight to see with 50 boats with their hugely experienced skippers all jostling for position at the line and depending on the direction of the wind if spinnakers come into play it certainly is one of the most colourful displays anyone could wish to see.

Me:
The next leg of the race, from Crosshaven to Brest, is due to start on Monday morning at 11am. This really is a sight to see: 50 boats, all with their hugely experienced skippers, jostling for position at the line. Depending on the direction of the wind, if spinnakers come into play, it certainly is one of the most colourful displays anyone could wish to see.

5.

Rugby: SA vs (Irish province) Connacht

And then of course, I hate it when people are biased. But we all do this and I probably shouldn't have changed things here as it wasn't very professional of me - it's just that I watched this match and the writer was clearly being an ass.

BEFORE: (selected lines)
CONNACHT produced a fiery display at a packed Sportsground last night to suggest they are in for a promising season after forcing South Africa to dig deep. The Springboks were clearly in trouble when they led by just five points going into the final quarter and they would have been behind had Connacht managed to turn some quality possession into scores.

South Africa were clearly bothered and were reduced to 14 men briefly when hooker Bismarck du Plessis manifested their frustrations when he punched Connacht scrum-half Conor McPhillips and was lucky to escape with just a yellow card.

The Springboks stepped up a few gears after the restart and got the opening try four minutes into the second-half when Ashwin Willemse crossed in the right corner after a good move.

AFTER: (same selected lines)
CONNACHT produced a fiery display at a packed Sportsground last night to suggest they are in for a promising season after forcing South Africa to dig deep. The Springboks, comprising few first-choice players, were clearly in trouble

However, while Connacht made several forays into the South Africa 22, they rarely looked like cracking the visitors' defence, even when South Africa were briefly reduced to 14 men when hooker Bismarck du Plessis was shown a yellow card. (THIS DECISION WAS A HARSH ONE - HE WAS BEING HELD WITHOUT THE BALL AND SHRUGGED THE GUY OFF - BUT I LEFT THAT OUT)

The Springboks stepped up a few gears after the restart and got the opening try four minutes into the second-half when Ashwin Willemse crossed in the right corner after a great move (I CHANGED THAT JUST TO BE DIFFICULT).

THIS TYPE OF crap crept in again just a few days ago but this time I did nothing about it - I figure I'm not being paid to write, so stuff it. I was really tempted though - Michael Catt, the English rugby player who played against SA in the World Cup final was asked about who the next coach of England should be and he said "blah blah blah... but I don't think it should be (recently 'released' South African coach) Jake White, there are enough qualified people in England. Let's keep it English."

If I had been drinking at the time I read that, I would have spat my soda all over the screen as I laughed out loud. Michael Catt, the man who was born and raised in South Africa, who learned his rugby in South Africa and who qualified to play for England because his mummy had a red passport, has the cheek to say 'Let's keep it English'!!! That was a tempting time for me - but of course, with another person's name on the story, if I change something, it makes it look like they said it - and they might not like that. Sigh. But sometimes...

7.
Sport again. Road bowls, an Irish game, a sport I know little about.
I'm going to take selected lines out of this again as it amuses me quite a lot how little I know here and how the jargon makes absolutely no sense to me. In stories like this, we just have to trust that the person knows what they're talking about, because even with 20 sport loving staff in the office, no-one knows any better to correct the guy. Enjoy this:

DAVID MURPHY is basking in the biggest victory of his bowling career following his last shot win over World Champion Eddie Carr in last Sunday's tense Hurley's of Midleton King of the Roads final at Ballincurrig.
...
With the result in the balance, because it was so tight, (DUH!!!) the massive crowd stayed to the very end, often making it difficult for the players to make their shots. Despite this, they were both on top of the line in 20 throws, just one short of the record.
...
He opened with a sensational bowl and made clear sight in three. Murphy lofted his fourth onto Bowen's straight and looked to be facing an early bowl of odds. Carr missed his chance by failing to make sight at Dundullerick cross. Murphy grabbed that opening with a blistering reply to sight, Carr beat that by just 40m. Murphy played his next too high on the left at O'Connell's, giving Carr another chance. Carr erred on the lower side, but was still ahead. They both made the normal start with their next shots. Murphy brilliantly lofted his bowl from there, which put him in front for the first time. Two shots later they both showed exceptional finesse with their bowls around the sycamores. They made clear sight at the big corner in two more with Murphy still in front. Carr was too low with his next and Murphy punished him with a great bowl onto the long straight, which gave him almost a bowl of odds.
...
It went on for a while and then he wrapped it up...
...
O'Reilly sensed his complacency and punished him with a brilliant bowl to light at the big corner and it was all in the melting pot again. Things looked bad for Sexton when he missed a simple shot to the top of the short straight. But he dug deep to stay in the frame to the sycamores. He played what would have been the shot of the weekend from there, but it was called. It took rare self-belief to see that bowl cancelled and to follow with another good bowl and two shots later lift the cup.

NOW HOW THE HELL are you supposed to edit THAT when you don't know what the f$%^ is going on?

Other times, things just don't 'feel' right, like when I came across the word 'disimprovement' which I replaced. It may exist for all I know, but why not just say 'worsen' or something similar?

The other thing us subs have to do is write headlines.

I came across this story, with this intro...

BALLINACOURTY dethroned champions Nire in an this exciting Waterford SFC semi-final at Fraher Field, Dungarvan on Saturday.

I wrote the headline: 'Ballinacourty a-Nire-late champions' and it was replaced by the powers that be with something boring. That's the way - when you do manage to think up what you think is a gem of a headline, someone else doesn't think so. Sigh, the life of a sub...

In general, the paper is a good place to work... the people are friendly, the conditions are bloody good, we get free samies and as much tea as you can drink. The only thing I don't like is staring at a computer screen for five hours straight - which wear away my precious little eyes - but then, I guess that's the profession I've chosen!

The job has it's funny moments. Because of space or the pages often being changed around etc, it is not uncommon to hear someone shouting 'So-and-so, do you have seven inches to give me?'

I try and keep my comments to myself about this type of thing.

So that's about it. If you read this far, you must be really interested in what I do. Good for you.