Subbing - it's what I do.

SUBBING

Well I'm very aware of boring you, but people are always asking me 'what's your job like?' and 'What exactly do you do?' I thought, this month, instead of doing my summary type thing at the end of the month, I'd put a post up giving you a few examples of what it is I actually do.

Now I'm not sure if there are any legal complications with this - plagiarism or anything - so before I start, these come from the Irish Examiner. Credit given.

Basically, a sub gets rid of the mistakes. Or tries to as the case may be. Those who know me may find it amusing to know that I, Alan Valkenburg, am correcting other people's mistakes but I find it odd that some of the most impatient people I know are teachers - a job that requires a hell of a lot of patience. Sometimes it's just funny the way things work out.

But there's more to subbing than just correcting spelling and grammar. There's a bit of an art to making a story make sense, attract the reader's attention and flow. Most of that is done by the journalist - but sometimes the writer just doesn't have a clue.

The other things we do are pretty practical - making the stories fit onto the page - cutting them or making them a little longer - and writing headlines for them.

Occasionally I am asked to design pages too. That isn't really subbing, but it's related. It's quite cool cos in a way, you get to use the more creative side of the brain.

Anyway - I've kept a few examples of things that I came across in the paper and tried to do something about.

Attached as photos, I've put some headlines, etc that did make it into our paper. Not my stuff-ups, I promise. See if you can spot the mistakes.

Little examples:

1
In the middle of a legal story:

Yesterday at the High Court Mr Justice Iarfhlaith O'Neill heard that the hearing could last up to eight weeks.
There's actually nothing wrong with that one - but how the hell am I supposed to know whether that first name has been spelled correctly or not? Also 'heard that the hearing' doesn't sound too good.

2
Surfing column - and this happens every week:
Daytime temps ranging from 13ºC tomorrow to 12ºC on Sunday but cooler in the light wind and out of the sun.

My reaction here was REALLY! So you're saying it's going to be cooler when the wind blows and when we're out of the sun? Really?!! CUT! Another nominee for the stating the Bleeding obvious award 2007! Readers don't like having their time wasted. Well I don't anyway.

3
Story intro:
in Limerick have renewed their appeal for information about the murder of a 25-year-old man on the second anniversary of his death.

Police are called gardai in Ireland, so that's fine. But I suppose I was just being annoyingly pedantic here - but I didn't like that intro.
It kinda sounds like he was murdered on the anniversary of his death. I rewrote it, I can't remember how though.

4.
Sailing column. When sentences are too long:
Him:
The race is due to start on the next leg from Crosshaven to Brest on Monday morning at
11 am and of course this is the sight to see with 50 boats with their hugely experienced skippers all jostling for position at the line and depending on the direction of the wind if spinnakers come into play it certainly is one of the most colourful displays anyone could wish to see.

Me:
The next leg of the race, from Crosshaven to Brest, is due to start on Monday morning at 11am. This really is a sight to see: 50 boats, all with their hugely experienced skippers, jostling for position at the line. Depending on the direction of the wind, if spinnakers come into play, it certainly is one of the most colourful displays anyone could wish to see.

5.

Rugby: SA vs (Irish province) Connacht

And then of course, I hate it when people are biased. But we all do this and I probably shouldn't have changed things here as it wasn't very professional of me - it's just that I watched this match and the writer was clearly being an ass.

BEFORE: (selected lines)
CONNACHT produced a fiery display at a packed Sportsground last night to suggest they are in for a promising season after forcing South Africa to dig deep. The Springboks were clearly in trouble when they led by just five points going into the final quarter and they would have been behind had Connacht managed to turn some quality possession into scores.

South Africa were clearly bothered and were reduced to 14 men briefly when hooker Bismarck du Plessis manifested their frustrations when he punched Connacht scrum-half Conor McPhillips and was lucky to escape with just a yellow card.

The Springboks stepped up a few gears after the restart and got the opening try four minutes into the second-half when Ashwin Willemse crossed in the right corner after a good move.

AFTER: (same selected lines)
CONNACHT produced a fiery display at a packed Sportsground last night to suggest they are in for a promising season after forcing South Africa to dig deep. The Springboks, comprising few first-choice players, were clearly in trouble

However, while Connacht made several forays into the South Africa 22, they rarely looked like cracking the visitors' defence, even when South Africa were briefly reduced to 14 men when hooker Bismarck du Plessis was shown a yellow card. (THIS DECISION WAS A HARSH ONE - HE WAS BEING HELD WITHOUT THE BALL AND SHRUGGED THE GUY OFF - BUT I LEFT THAT OUT)

The Springboks stepped up a few gears after the restart and got the opening try four minutes into the second-half when Ashwin Willemse crossed in the right corner after a great move (I CHANGED THAT JUST TO BE DIFFICULT).

THIS TYPE OF crap crept in again just a few days ago but this time I did nothing about it - I figure I'm not being paid to write, so stuff it. I was really tempted though - Michael Catt, the English rugby player who played against SA in the World Cup final was asked about who the next coach of England should be and he said "blah blah blah... but I don't think it should be (recently 'released' South African coach) Jake White, there are enough qualified people in England. Let's keep it English."

If I had been drinking at the time I read that, I would have spat my soda all over the screen as I laughed out loud. Michael Catt, the man who was born and raised in South Africa, who learned his rugby in South Africa and who qualified to play for England because his mummy had a red passport, has the cheek to say 'Let's keep it English'!!! That was a tempting time for me - but of course, with another person's name on the story, if I change something, it makes it look like they said it - and they might not like that. Sigh. But sometimes...

7.
Sport again. Road bowls, an Irish game, a sport I know little about.
I'm going to take selected lines out of this again as it amuses me quite a lot how little I know here and how the jargon makes absolutely no sense to me. In stories like this, we just have to trust that the person knows what they're talking about, because even with 20 sport loving staff in the office, no-one knows any better to correct the guy. Enjoy this:

DAVID MURPHY is basking in the biggest victory of his bowling career following his last shot win over World Champion Eddie Carr in last Sunday's tense Hurley's of Midleton King of the Roads final at Ballincurrig.
...
With the result in the balance, because it was so tight, (DUH!!!) the massive crowd stayed to the very end, often making it difficult for the players to make their shots. Despite this, they were both on top of the line in 20 throws, just one short of the record.
...
He opened with a sensational bowl and made clear sight in three. Murphy lofted his fourth onto Bowen's straight and looked to be facing an early bowl of odds. Carr missed his chance by failing to make sight at Dundullerick cross. Murphy grabbed that opening with a blistering reply to sight, Carr beat that by just 40m. Murphy played his next too high on the left at O'Connell's, giving Carr another chance. Carr erred on the lower side, but was still ahead. They both made the normal start with their next shots. Murphy brilliantly lofted his bowl from there, which put him in front for the first time. Two shots later they both showed exceptional finesse with their bowls around the sycamores. They made clear sight at the big corner in two more with Murphy still in front. Carr was too low with his next and Murphy punished him with a great bowl onto the long straight, which gave him almost a bowl of odds.
...
It went on for a while and then he wrapped it up...
...
O'Reilly sensed his complacency and punished him with a brilliant bowl to light at the big corner and it was all in the melting pot again. Things looked bad for Sexton when he missed a simple shot to the top of the short straight. But he dug deep to stay in the frame to the sycamores. He played what would have been the shot of the weekend from there, but it was called. It took rare self-belief to see that bowl cancelled and to follow with another good bowl and two shots later lift the cup.

NOW HOW THE HELL are you supposed to edit THAT when you don't know what the f$%^ is going on?

Other times, things just don't 'feel' right, like when I came across the word 'disimprovement' which I replaced. It may exist for all I know, but why not just say 'worsen' or something similar?

The other thing us subs have to do is write headlines.

I came across this story, with this intro...

BALLINACOURTY dethroned champions Nire in an this exciting Waterford SFC semi-final at Fraher Field, Dungarvan on Saturday.

I wrote the headline: 'Ballinacourty a-Nire-late champions' and it was replaced by the powers that be with something boring. That's the way - when you do manage to think up what you think is a gem of a headline, someone else doesn't think so. Sigh, the life of a sub...

In general, the paper is a good place to work... the people are friendly, the conditions are bloody good, we get free samies and as much tea as you can drink. The only thing I don't like is staring at a computer screen for five hours straight - which wear away my precious little eyes - but then, I guess that's the profession I've chosen!

The job has it's funny moments. Because of space or the pages often being changed around etc, it is not uncommon to hear someone shouting 'So-and-so, do you have seven inches to give me?'

I try and keep my comments to myself about this type of thing.

So that's about it. If you read this far, you must be really interested in what I do. Good for you.

Cath's work farewell

Well there really isn't a lot to say about this - but I'll try anyway.

It was probably my poorest attempt at a birthday celebration EVER for Cath as for a start, the 28th of September was a Friday - the day I had to move out of my Sunday's Well apartment in Cork (which I had been sharing with Tony - a Chinese guy) and into our new penthouse apartment overlooking the Lee (river). This meant that after moving and catching the bus up, I only got into Dublin late - at about 8-9pm.

Then, not only was it Cath's bday, it was also her last day - she had to start at her new job at the beginning of October so I made her leave her job on her birthday. Eina.

Shame, but at least her work buddies spoilt her rotten - they gave her some really nice perfume and some other stuff too - and lots of them went out for drinks with her (any excuse huh?) and stayed till after midnight.

It was the night of the England v Tonga game and Ben (centre) - an Englishman surrounded by Irishmen - had a bit of a wager with one of the Oirish boys. You'll see lots of photies of Ben here - and he sure is a happy man - you'll see what I mean!



Cath and Emma - her lecture and work buddy. The bonded. They were toit (like a toiger).



With the rugby won, Ben was soon a great mood...

Paddy (left, above photie), who used to work with Cath at DCA, is such a cool oke that whenever they have a work thing on, they still give him a call to come out...

Anyway, I was giving Cath a lot of loving that night, seeing as it was her bday and since I hadn't seen her in a week - and so, naturally... the loving spread

First Billy tried to get some...

and then Gary...

And so no surprises then that Cath needed a smoke...

All in all, a good night out

- except for Gary maybe

(one too many? - nah, he's just dodging the camera again!).

Cath's bday and Discover group

CATH'S BDAY BREAKFAST / BRUNCH AT OUR DUBLIN PLACE

And so to Cath's birthday - I have to admit, I wasn'tfeeling like organising anything so I asked Cath to organise her own get-together this time - she's such a good organiser - and so she decided on a brunch at our place.

For a lot of our friends, they'd never heard of the concept brunch before - so Cath asked them each to bring a thing or 2 and we merrily went along organising things. Of course, on the morning of the brunch - who had to rush off (hungover - after the previous night's work farewell to Cath) to the shops to buy the bacon, sausages, eggs, etc? You guessed it - me!

Anyhoo, we invited about a dozen people and it ended up being really cool - but naturally, only once I started whipping out the fried sausies, bacon, eggs and some fried, sliced hot-dog sausages which I like to call 'hotdog ala Alan'.

There was quite a spread in the end, as our friends brought enough food for a small army. They're so sweet - I think Cath organised that there would be just more than enough of everything, so a few people were asked to bring 2L of juice each while another was asked to bring a box of muesli and another a yoghurt, etc.
Well, in typical broken telephone tradition, the people in charge of juice each thought they alone were bringing for everyone - so instead of 2L, they brought 6L - and so did the other person asked to bring 2L. And the other. So we ended up with like more than a litre per person.

Luckily people were thirsty - and hungry.

Alan was cooking. That is, Alan was hot. Well you know what I mean.

Birthday girl found a spot on the floor and soaked up the vibe.

The girls:

The group

Francois plays Lord of the Dance:

(No actually, Francois plays a 'sharp C' (or something like that) under Cath's EXPERT tuition

Alan flirts. Courtney is mesmerised.

The boys:

But all good things must come to

an end and Cath gets her hugs,

in typical Catherine style, from

our priestly men:

BUT WHILE WE'RE ABOUT IT...

Seeing as the above group of buddies are our church buddies (and I only started my blog late) here are a few more random pics of some of em...

Firstly: Stewart and Gabs (who had a little boy in October 07) at there place for the rugby World Cup semi-final...

Playing non-drinking drinking games at one of the Church Discover evenings. On the left Tomas and waving goodbye is Francois.

Serving up the pie to Kati (who I suspect was not quite ready for this photo) and Francois is Courtney (my favourite American).

And seeing as she's also Cath's favourite American, here the two of em pose for yours truly on my farewell evening at the end of 2006.

And last but not least, at one of our Discover evenings last year (2006) we decided to have a meal with several people contributing to each course...

August 2007

Sorry in advance for the un-amazing photos with this entry! If you want to see more re Waterford and Lahinch, check out those entries seperately.

Well August was a pretty cool month - we got to travel to Lahinch in Co Clare to see my buddy Dave and his fiance Sinead and Courtney came along too which was pretty cool too as Courtney is ALWAYS up to something.
(for more on the Lahinch trip - see that entry on the blog)

But otherwise, what else happened in August - Cath and I went camping in Co Waterford to celebrate our 2nd anniversary - we got to see the Waterford Crystal Factory and would have gone for a canoe on the beach if the wind hadn't been too dangerous. Pah when you come from Cape Town, you're used to swimming with sharks - I tried to tell the silly lifeguards but they were having none of it.



Cath handed her notice in last month as for her to break that training contract, she had to give 3 months notice. So that meant she was going to be ending up around the end of September. Which meant that we, slowly but surely, needed to move our stuff down from Dublin to Cork.

And so, for the next several weeks I was carrying empty backpacks from Cork to Dublin on Saturday mornings and then carrying huge, humungous ones back on Sunday afternoons, dragging Cath's wheelie-bag behind me - also chock a block full of clothes, stuffed toys, games, DVD's, books or whatever.

I wasn't a huge fan of carrying a backpack around as whether or not you are aware in SA, the Irish have had an influx foreigners over the last several years as the economy has grown. Surveys have found that thousands of these foreigners have had people swearing at themtelling them to 'F£$% off back to your own country' or even beaten up sometimes...
At any rate, carrying a backpack at 5:30am could be asking for trouble so I was wary...

And my fears became a reality one Saturday morning when some drunk guy (he was staggering all over the place) of about my age started causing trouble with a Polish girl. I galantly (I repeat, GALANTLY) stepped in to let her get away and he spoke/slurred to me for a while, asking me if I could swim (I was standing next to the river). Eventually he took a swipe at me - punching me in the face and then ran away like a little girl.

I'm not sure what annoyed me most:
a) the fact that I couldn't dodge a punch from a clearly pissed doos
b) that I felt bad about beating the crap out of someone so drunk he was stumbling over
c) that the Polish girl didn't say 'my hero' and give herself to me as a reward for being so gallant.

Anyway, having Cath live with me has now eliminated the early-morning trips backwards and forwards between the capital and Dublin.

It was also a bad month for travel in that my bicycle came a cropper - but luckily, only as I was climbing onto it. It was quite weird really. Standing next to the bike, I held the handlebars and flung my right leg over the saddle (as you do) only to have the left handlebar basically snap off in my hands! If it had happened two minutes later, I would have been cycling down a flight of stairs - and that could have equalled PAIN! So that left me walking to work for a while but at the end of the day, I think I was bloody lucky!

Lastly but not least, Cath and I hosted our first poker evening at our old Dublin place - twas prett cool - but Courtney (who had never played before) basically ended up taking all of Michele's (who had never played before) money. Next time we'll just invite Michele - and up the stakes.

Well as I said, sorry there are no photos for this one - but we forgot ourselves in all the confusion of the move.

Mwah for now
-a-

Lahinch Trip - Co Clare

An American, a South African and an Irishman are sitting around a fire...

sound a bit like a joke?
Well it wasn't... it was our trip to Lahinch to visit my buddy Dave and his fiance at his folks' place in Co Clare, not far from the Cliffs of Moher.

Twas a pretty good time - even though we only got there after 7pm - Cath and Courtney had driven down from Dublin to Cork to pick me up (4hr plus drive), and then had to drive the extra 3hrs from Cork to the cottage in Clare. I suppose a bit like driving from Cape Town to Bloemfontein for a braai!

We were planning on camping, but truth be told, when they offered us the lounge floor (we had a blow-up matress), we decided on that instead. Courtney opted for the couch so me dreams of sleeping inbetween the two girls failed to materialise.

Dave was keen on a sing-song that night, so sitting around the bonfire, even though the girls had gone to bed, a few of us sat around and drank and sang - even after Sinead, Dave's fiance, came and closed the door on us. She cut us deep Shrek, she cut us real deep.

At about 4:30 I headed in and they came soon after.
Then we were up at 10 for some brekkie - sausages and eggs. We wanted to head for a surf but I needed to head back to Cork as I was working and the girls needed to get to Dublin to return the rental.

Twas a good time.




PS - even though the Cliffs were only a few kilometres away, Cath's so sick of them now that we didn't even bother heading past them!

Married two years - bloody hell!

CAMPING IN WATERFORD:

Seeing as Cath and I take it in turns to organise our anniversary, 2007 saw it was her turn - seeing as I did it last year.

She hired the car, she drove me around - I knew we were going camping as we had the stuff in the car, but where - no clue.

How cool though, Waterford - a county we hadn't been to (well, we'd been THROUGH it - but it doesn't count unless you've stayed a night in a place). We stayed two - and got a bit damp during the nights - but fortunately, the rain stayed away during the day, allowing us to braai in peace.

We had a cool time and ate like kings. As witnessed by this picture of our food.

We also drove around a bit and visited some cool, scenic beaches. Cool being a bit of an ambiguous word there - twas chilly and that's no lie. But I told Cath that seeing as she's been moaning to me about not having seen the sun since December (apart from a day or two here and there - when she gets home from work) - that she had better at least PRETEND to suntan while we were at the beach - so here's a pic of Cath suntanning on the beach - Ireland style. I think it was quite chilly lying on those rocks cos as she made her way back up to me - she looked like she was about to attack me. I survived, but I wouldn't want anyone to meet my wife in a dark alley at night when she has THAT expression on her face. grrrrr!





THE WATERFORD FACTORY:

We also got to visit the Waterford Crystal factory - and did the tour which alowed us to see how they make all the larny stuff that one sees around the world. Seeing as 'm into my sport, I noted with interest that they made the tennis Masters Series trophies, The Ashes (new) cricket trophy, a few Formula 1 trophies and several other bits and bobs.

Oh ja - what blog post would be complete without giving my wife a hard time - a 2 year anniversary is also known as the cotton anniversary - so i got Cath a few cotton items, etc, etc.
It's now the October 20 and I'm still waiting for my gift...